Not that I like
dialup, but computers aren't my life and I can't see spending
many hundreds of dollars a year on broadband.

I did see smoothwall in my quest, and I'm keeping it as a
contender if I can't get anything else to work. The downside
is it would need a dedicated machine, which might be an option
but I'm running too many dedicated machines as it is. Even
when they're "free" old pentium 500's or whatever they still
have fans, hard drives and take up shelf space. Was hoping
to piggy back the solution on a machine I already have running.