"Why GNU/Linux Viruses are fairly uncommon" from Charlie Harvey

evilmalware 0.6 (beta)

Copyright 2000, 2001, 2003, 2005
E\/17 |-|4><0|2z Software Foundation, Inc.

This is free software; see the source for copying conditions. There is
NO warranty; not even for MERCHANTABILITY, COMPLETE DESTRUCTION OF IMPORTANT
DATA or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE (eg. sending thousands of Viagra
spams to people accross the world).

Basic Installation
==================

Before attempting to compile this virus make sure you have the correct
version of glibc installed, and that your firewall rules are set to `allow
everything'.

1. Put the attachment into the appropriate directory eg. /usr/src

2. Type `tar xvzf evilmalware.tar.gz' to extract the source files for
this virus.

3. `cd' to the directory containing the virus's source code and type
`./configure' to configure the virus for your system. If you're
using `csh' on an old version of System V, you might need to type
`sh ./configure' instead to prevent `csh' from trying to execute
`configure' itself.

4. Type `make' to compile the package. You may need to be logged in as
root to do this.

5. Optionally, type `make check_payable' to run any self-tests that come
with the virus, and send a large donation to an unnumbered Swiss bank
account.

6. Type `make install' to install the virus and any spyware, trojans
pornography, penis enlargement adverts and DDoS attacks that
come with it.

7. You may now configure your preferred malware behaviour in
/etc/evilmalware.conf .